The Winter Olympics is a Dick

Talk about a guest overstaying its welcome. I get it, ice is dangerous and snow makes you move fast. How about a game that's a challenge? Like "barefoot, blind, ice-running" or my latest invention "Skate High-5." Here are the details.

Team size: two people per country.
Estimated fan base: 1 zillion plants, animals, or other.
Rules: Each player stands at the opposite end of an ice rink. They both put up their right hand and hold it in position... maybe it gets locked in by some mechanism to prevent ice cheating. Not sure. Doesn't matter.

Then each player pushes off (THEY CANNOT SKATE, JUST PUSH OFF) and their goal is to meet in the center and high-5 in the most dramatic fashion possible. They cannot over shoot or under shoot the distance and they cannot move their hands to meet the other player's.
Truly that’s the hardest game in the world. None of this 'oh look at me, i'm sitting on a vehicle intended for snow and riding down a hill' bullshit.