Early Morning Confessions - TRAIN EDITION

There is a guy who rides the train with me every day. He looks like this.

 I’m not sure where he works but wherever it is must allow people to wear lots of necklaces.

There is this woman he always insists on sitting next to. She looks like this.

She always looks as though someone insulted her homemade lasagna. 

The man likes to talk about when he was a teenager. He’s like the Bruce Springsteen of talking.

The woman’s hatred for this man is clear to everyone except him. Every day he tells a story that she doesn’t care about. This morning he told this one:

It was spring of 1959 and I was in St. Louis visiting Sharon, a woman who had breasts that cascaded like waterfalls. Anyway we became very close. I recently saw her and it turns out she has a daughter who was born in December of 1959. I asked who her father was and she said she didn’t know. Makes you wonder... Also she has her mother’s cascading breasts; they are like waterfalls.

Sometimes he doesn’t have stories like that. Instead he just provides scene-by-scene descriptions of episodes of The Honeymooners.