Thursday, July 9, 2009

Tips for Victims of Crime- Excluding Murder

Below are tips from my book:


Tips for Victims of Crime, Excluding Murder:
Can't Help You There Deadie
By Rachel Lada

By Rachel Lada

1. If you have been victimized by a crime person you should be prepared to totally tattle on them. If you aren't prepared to tattle then don't even get victimized in the first place. Hate to say it, but that was your first mistake.

2. Once you get the tattling out of the way, your next step is to meet with an artist who will attempt to sketch your attacker. Don't leave your fate in the hands of a washed up high school art teacher. Instead bust out your computer and create an avatar that looks like your attacker. Here's one I created:


Totally hit the mark on this one. As you can see my attacker was wearing a top hat at the disco.

And last but not least, my number 3 tip for victims.....

Stop being so sensitive. You're probably so sensitive about crime because you yourself are a criminal. Now who's guilty?

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