From the Mysterious Archives

I was browsing through some old word documents and I came across this gem from 2001 entitled "centaur." Below is the piece in its entirety:

OK. Let me just say this. A person cannot pick who their parents are. They just can't. Why would you hate someone just because their daddy (or mama) was a horse (or centaur)?! If that isn't discrimination I don't know what is. Centaur Americans have been through more than any other cohort ever. Two words, Concentration Stables. I think Centaurs are heroes. Let's review American history, shall we? Do you know how many Centaur Americans died at the Boston Tea Party? 987. NINE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY-SEVEN. You know why? They didn't have the dexterity to throw tea in the river with their hooves so they had to gallop to the shore. Do you know what happened? They fell in the river. One by one. What is wrong with you? Centaurs aren't stupid. They are brave, moderately smelly American PATRIOTS.

Ummmmmm. What?! I have NO idea why I wrote this. I'd like to think it was in response to something centaur related, but let's be real there's a 40% chance it wasn't. Why am I posting this? Wrong question. Why aren't you posting this? Probably because you hate mythical beasts. Now who's ridiculous?