Conspiracy Theories, I mean Truths

Are you sitting down? Then listen up, LAZY. Are you standing? What’s your deal, show off? Are you in some kind of 1930s bread line?

Regardless of your current positioning, I’m going to need to ask you to sit even lower than you thought possible because the conspiracy theories I’m about to drop on your ass are going to blow your ass to assdom come.

NO WAY the California gold rush was real. I mean, the rush was real but gold flowing in the rivers = NOT A REAL THING. Think about it. If you wanted to populate a remote new land, you’d throw a handful of gold in your local river, pretend you found it, and then make a big fucking deal about it like the show off that you are. You’d post about it as your HorseBook status message, ride all over town and soon people would find chunks of gold and a butt ton of people would flock to the region with gold on the brain (or Brian as it is sometimes spelled).

 

Land = populated. General store = out of old timey licorice and running low on all purpose salve (or slave as it is sometimes spelled).

 

 I have so many more conspiracy theories, specifically one, that I’ll share at a later date.