Are you
sitting down? Then listen up, LAZY. Are you
standing? What’s your deal, show off? Are you in some kind of 1930s bread line?
Regardless
of your current positioning, I’m going to need to ask you to sit even lower
than you thought possible because the conspiracy theories I’m about to drop on
your ass are going to blow your ass to assdom come.
NO WAY
the California gold rush was real. I mean, the rush was real but gold
flowing in the rivers = NOT A REAL THING. Think about it. If you wanted to
populate a remote new land, you’d throw a handful of gold in your local river,
pretend you found it, and then make a big fucking deal about it like the show
off that you are. You’d post about it as your HorseBook status message, ride
all over town and soon people would find chunks of gold and a butt ton of
people would flock to the region with gold on the brain (or Brian as it is
sometimes spelled).
Land = populated. General store = out of old timey licorice
and running low on all purpose salve (or slave as it is sometimes spelled).
I have
so many more conspiracy theories, specifically one, that I’ll share at a later
date.
