Book Report

When I was in the second grade I borrowed The Diary of Anne Frank from my school's library because I had not yet understood that there were books that didn’t make sense for children to read. I had been inundated with campaign after campaign encouraging children to "book it." Their colorful propaganda failed to mention that not all books were about raccoons and helpful maids.

It was a total fluke that I understood every word in the title because that Anne Frank character lost me in chapter one. There were so many proper nouns that I had never encountered so I was completely incapable of following the story. Naturally I raised my hand and asked, "What's a Hilter?" And like all non-enabling adults, Mrs. M said, "Look it up in the dictionary."

I was used to this routine. When I asked how to spell a word as a child, nine out of ten times I was told to look in the dictionary. News flash, adults, you need to know how to spell something to look it up in the dictionary. My typical response was to augment reality towards situations I could spell.

This time was different because I had Hitler spelled out for me on the page and could easily look it up. Funny thing about the dictionary I had though… it was meant for 2nd graders so aside from the fact proper nouns are usually absent, Hilter wasn't exactly explained in print yet.

Unsatisfied and about to give up, I decided that I would employ the tactic of thumbing my way to the end of the book and reading the last sentence. Upon arriving at the end I noticed that this particular addition had pictures, black and white shots of Anne Frank, her family, and Nazi soldiers. My book report just became way more doable!