In my last post I mentioned my Grandmother was a body guard
when she was 11 years old. While I’ve been unable to locate her supervisor for
comment, I’m confident she was a stellar brawns-woman mainly because I don’t
think Tangle Foot killed my Great, Great Grandmother.
My Grandma’s aptitude got me wondering how great an 11 year old body guard would be in present day. Much to the chagrin of the inventors of Flintstone’s vitamins and Baby Einstein, today’s version of an 11 year old would make a shit, terrible body guard. They would be utterly unable to scan the perimeter for threats because of two flaws.
1.
They are too distracted.
2.
They have too much confidence.
Note: that's a real piece of "art" intended for a child's room.
Back in the day, a sign like this would never exist. Back
then, a kid didn’t know if a wolf was going to eat their father or if their
parents were going to give them up for adoption because they were running low
on oatmeal. They constantly had to be on high alert and unconfident they’d be
sleeping in their bed that night.
The reason kids are more distracted today is very obvious.
But why do they have so much over confidence? I mean they personally have no source of continual income yet they assume their parents will just
keep paying for their beds. I think this problem could be easily solved if you
got your kid’s furniture from Rent-A-Center instead of buying it.
Without the Rent-A-Center solution, the only thing an 11 year old would only be able to protect you from is losing in a Zach
Efron trivia contest.
