Monday, May 17, 2010

Blame Game

I swear to god if I were walking my dog (Nitro) and a freaking stegosaurus suddenly appeared, my dog's visceral reaction would be to try to murder it. Dan says this is because Nitro has no concept of his own size. I say its because he never learned about dinosaurs. I guess I'm just more willing to take responsibility for my dog's stupidity.




Sunday, May 16, 2010

Learned

I saw the smartest man ever the other day. He was wearing glasses and referenced literature a butt ton. He was so smart.

Good thing there are billions of other people just like him; people with the ability to remember and reference fake stories. Without them, why, there would be no one to regurgitate tired ideas. And without these tired ideas, why, they would have nothing to say. Thanks, smart people. Your promotion of this brand of intelligence makes the world stay the same!

P.S. I hate Aristotle. If you like him, you're pretentious.

Aristotle is a fucking moron. He got the physical sciences ALL WRONG and yet we still remember his legacy. Fun fact, Aristotle said human men have more teeth than human woman. What an amazing scientist! He could have researched this theory by conducting a 15 second experiment (i.e. counting) but he didn't. What a fucking genius. Yes, lets read and write more books about this blowhard. While we're at it, why don't we ask Spencer Pratt to write a book about string theory. Once published immediately ship it to every college campus.